Are we spoiled? What happens when you accomplish a major goal but now, you don’t know if it’s for you anymore?ย  Finding your true path…

Edition of Ask Gen: I received a few messages about people struggling to find their voice and their place. I also got several questions about how I found my way with all the different things I took on and places I visited. I have included part of my answer after my personal anecdote. I will be writing more on this topic in posts to come! I try to keep these as general as possible but I am thinking of writing more in depth and precise answers. I just do not want to expose anyone so I rather expose myself and my short-comings. Just to give you that extra assurance that I can give advice, of course… ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Oh man, that has happened to me a couple times, especially this year. I swear to you, sometimes I get too excited and hyped about something and then once I get it, I’m thinking “oh jeez… what if this is not for me?” I felt that way with Law School. A whole GDL in and I’m all: “yeah… so as much as I love the topics and academia of this, I don’t want my life to be consumed with 80 hour weeks like this. It’s just not the way in which I will live a life that is balanced and fulfilling for me.” A personal decision, by the way, guys! I know several lawyers who absolutely love their jobs and when they have a day off, they do more work or studying for their jobs. That is brilliant. They deserve the job because they live it! I don’t. So I switched.

I thought Luxury Brand Strategy/Management and Business Law would be more suitable because it is more creative and I could potentially find more balance. It is great, don’t get me wrong. After all, I did always want my Master’s and I love studying so I hope to be able to studying alongside my job for a while but once more, I find myself finding this field to go against my values. For a large part of this year it was right up my alley! But now, I find myself reconnecting with myself again. My travels awakened so many aspects of my character and personality, and I find that this last year has been all the emotional, mental, and spiritual “moving around to settle in one place” that I needed to do. That place being literal and in every other sense. I have found where I belong in all the ways in which I had been searching.

Even with my job, I love it but I don’t care as much as I did. Rather, I don’t care in the same way… The legal/corporate world is just not for me. I used to think that I was just afraid. But then I remembered all the times I was so motivated and pumped to be a part of that world. But that’s the thing. I don’t want to be “pumped” or “hyped”. I don’t want to think “Yes! Challenge accepted. Let’s do this!” I want it to flow and be organic. I want to feel a certain level of interest all the time. I want to live what I do. That way, what I do will allow me to live. And to me, living means living a purposeful, balanced, and fulfilling life. The way I talk about certain aspects of my life versus others makes it so clear to me what I actually need. That is why I am working with those passions now rather than others. Particularly with academia; I don’t want it to be about whether or not what I am studying can one day be lucrative. Fuck that! I love academia so I will love what I study. Simple. Whether it is my Master’s or my Yoga Teacher Training, or my Master’s in Psychology (I want to do that after this one), or how I experiment and research to perfect my cosmetic formulations.

Those fuels me because they are not really about a result like the others have been. At their most basic existence in my life, they fuel me. Then, they motivate me and help me explore, discover, evolve, and find passion and love in what I am doing. I will not settle for anything less. As for my job, I want it to mean something to me. I want it to fit into my life rather than have to get into a specific mindset to accomplish my job. Which I have found with my current job. Of course it is work, and sometimes I don’t feel like doing it. However, it FITS. I love it! Even my boyfriend listens to me talk about my work day, smiles and says: “Baby, you really love your job, it’s great. You’re so happy.” He’s right, my darling man. It fits, and it allows me to play with my other passions and interests. None of the aspects of my life drain me and take away my will for more. They multiply my will to grow and explore! That is something for which I am incredible grateful.

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But… am I spoiled? Should I continue with what I once chose because that’s what life is about? It’s sticking it out and following through? Am I doing myself a disservice? Honestly, I truly believe that the greatest disservice you can do to yourself is not being true to yourself. I mean, you were put on this earth to live your life in a meaningful way. It is such a personal journey. There is no one on this earth that can convince me that there is one right way to live. That is preposterous to me. First of all, what business is it of anyone else but you? More to the point, what kind of mentality is that? “this is how that is done and that’s final”. Small minded thinking, in my opinion. I know people like that. People who created limitations and boundaries by which they live their lives and judge others. It’s sadly quite common. If one wants to live that way, that’s fine. But to force others into your confinements is cruel, and once again, based on fear. Only fear makes such resistance exist. They are not necessarily bad people, that’s not my point.

My point is that the greatest gift you can give yourself is the gift of choice and freedom to live a life that is your own and that makes you wake up every morning feeling good and alive. Whatever that is. It makes me sad to see people settling or feeling afraid, or ashamed. Please, make this your new years resolution: free yourself. There is always a way! This does not mean relinquishing and ignoring whatever responsibilities and commitments you have made. It means taking control of your life and knowing you always have a choice, and either way you go, it is you that is consciously and mindfully living your life. Whether it is to get yourself out of financial ruin, or picking yourself up after a terrible break-up or depression. Maybe you just want to live a more mindful and purposeful life. What it is! You are taking the lead and freeing yourself but that pain and limitation. I understand that it is not easy, and we have bills to pay and responsibilities. I truly understand that! I don’t even have kids so I can only imagine what that must add to the mix. I am not trying to say that you are a failure if you cannot do whatever you want. Heck, doing all you can to give your kids the best makes you one of the best heroes out there! I am just saying that if you wake up in the morning with purpose and drive from within because you are working for something or someone in which you believe, then you win. That’s final ๐Ÿ™‚

Write soon,

Gen x

 

 

3 Replies to “Are we spoiled? What happens when you accomplish a major goal but now, you don’t know if it’s for you anymore?ย  Finding your true path…”

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